Dirty Jokes: 150+ Hilarious Adult Jokes to Try Now

Dirty Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh (And Blush) – Adults Only

Dirty jokes aren’t just for shock value. They’re funny, edgy, and sometimes brilliantly clever. When shared in the right setting—with close friends, a party crowd, or even a flirty partner—they can turn an ordinary moment into a laugh-out-loud memory.

From raunchy jokes and adult jokes to clever dirty one-liners, this guide breaks them all down by category. Whether you're after something bold, cheeky, or downright filthy, you’ll find the best dirty jokes right here.

Let’s get to the good stuff. But first, a little ground rule: NSFW ahead.

Table of Contents

1. Inappropriate Jokes
2. Dirty Dad Jokes
3. Dirty One Liners
4. Dirty Adult Jokes
5. Dark Jokes for Adults
6. Dirty Sex Jokes
7. Nasty and Raunchy Jokes
8. Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults
9. NSFW and Smutty Humor
10. What Do You Call Dirty Jokes?

1. Inappropriate Jokes (For the Bold Only)

These are the jokes you definitely shouldn’t tell your boss—or your grandma.

Top 20 Inappropriate Jokes:

1. Why don’t vegetarians moan during sex? Because they don’t want to admit they love meat.
2. I asked my date if she was into fitness. She said, “Yeah, fitness this whole pizza in my mouth.”
3. They say money talks, but mine just says goodbye.
4. I like my coffee how I like my men—hot and able to keep me up all night.
5. My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything—even my last boyfriend.
8. What do you call a man who cries during sex? A cab driver.
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
11. I put the "pro" in procrastination.
12. I'm on a seafood diet—I see food, and I eat it.
13. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear.
14. I wanted to grow my own food, but I couldn't get bacon seeds.
15. I'm not a photographer, but I can picture us together… in bed.
16. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
17. My boss said I intimidate my coworkers. I just stared at him until he apologized.
18. I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
19. My girlfriend left a note saying I was too immature. So I glued it to her dog.
20. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.

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2. Dirty Dad Jokes (Yes, They Exist)

Dirty dad jokes are clean in structure, but cheeky in meaning.

20 Dirty Dad Jokes:

1. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.
2. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
3. I told my wife she should start embracing her curves. She locked the fridge.
4. My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
6. I like telling Dad jokes… sometimes he laughs.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
8. I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
9. What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit.
10. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
11. My ex always said I never listened to her… or something like that.
12. I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.
13. I told my wife she should stop acting like a flamingo. She put her foot down.
14. I don't trust stairs—they’re always up to something.
15. I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
16. Never trust math teachers who are always plotting something.
17. My son asked me if I was ever a soldier. I told him I was in the grammar army—we defend syntax.
18. I'm on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
19. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
20. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

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3. Dirty One Liners That Hit Fast and Hard

Short, sharp, and NSFW, these dirty one liner jokes are crowd favorites.

20 Dirty One Liners:

• I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
• I used to think I was indecisive—but now I’m not so sure.
• I’m not lazy—I’m just on energy-saving mode.
• I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
• If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d be broke.
• I’m not drunk, just chemically off-balanced.
• Sex on the beach? Not bad—until the sand gets everywhere.
• I’m not into yoga, but I’ll do you.
• My Wi-Fi signal is stronger than our relationship.
• If you’re hot and cold at the same time, does that make you… spicy?
• Your body is 70% water—and I’m thirsty.
• I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
• I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
• I’m like a software update—you won’t understand me, but I’ll make things better.
• I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and dirty thoughts.
• Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the six, and I’ll be the nine.
• You bring the buns. I’ll bring the sausage.
• Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.
• I’m good at multitasking. I can make love and make excuses.
• You're the reason I wake up. Also the reason I can't sleep.

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4. Dirty Adult Jokes: Funny, Filthy, and Flirtatious

These adult jokes aren’t for the faint-hearted.

20 Dirty Adult Jokes:

1. What’s long, hard, and has “come” in the middle? Income.
2. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A minor.
3. I’m not a hoarder, but I really want to keep you forever.
4. Size doesn’t matter… until you can’t find it.
5. I’m not dirty-minded. I just have better imagination.
6. Let's flip a coin. Heads, I’m yours. Tails, you're mine.
7. I don’t need a pickup line—I just need Wi-Fi and a smile.
8. You must be a magician because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
9. I put the STD in "stud," and now all I need is “U.”
10. That’s not a wand in my pocket—I’m just happy to see you.
11. My love for you is like diarrhea—I just can’t hold it in.
12. My safe word is "more."
13. I like my lovers like I like my coffee—strong, hot, and able to keep me up.
14. Netflix and chill? More like pizza and pants off.
15. Ever heard of a love triangle? I prefer a love rhombus.
16. I’m not saying you’re hot, but the fire alarm went off when you walked in.
17. Love is blind. Lust just needs good lighting.
18. Let’s make like fabric softener and snuggle.
19. Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest.
20. I’m 100% cotton. Feel me and see how soft I can be.

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5. Dirty Sex Jokes (NSFW & Naughty)

Keywords: dirty sex jokes, sexual jokes, best jokes about sex, funny sex jokes, sexy jokes

1. Are you a campfire? Because you're hot and I want s'more.
2. Sex is like math—add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply.
3. Why don’t we do homework? Because we already have chemistry.
4. Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for… in bed.
5. Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
6. My favorite position is CEO—on top of everything.
7. Let’s make a deal. You bring the curves, I’ll bring the angles.
8. If beauty were a crime, you'd be serving a life sentence… on top of me.
9. You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, clothes disappear.
10. I like my relationships like I like my wine—mature and intoxicating.
11. What’s long, hard, and full of... knowledge? A book. What were you thinking?
12. Are you a blanket? Because I want to be under you.
13. Let’s not complicate things—just undress the truth.
14. You must be tired—because you've been running through my dirty mind all day.
15. Are you an elevator? Because you take me up and down.
16. I’m a software update—enhancing your performance tonight.
17. You’re the reason I wear sweatpants... easy access.
18. Ever tried adult yoga? It’s like stretching, but with moaning.
19. Let's skip the foreplay—just kidding, I’m not a monster.
20. I’m not a plumber, but I know how to lay some serious pipe.

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6. Nasty and Raunchy Jokes

Keywords: nasty jokes, raunchy jokes, filthy jokes for adults, smutty jokes humor

1. My love life is like a broken pencil—pointless but still gets me dirty looks.
2. My ex said I was immature… so I unfriended her mom.
3. I’m not saying your breath stinks, but even your blow-up doll needs breath mints.
4. You’re not my type—but I’m into recycling.
5. I asked my date what her turn-ons were. She said “Wi-Fi and pizza.”
6. He said, “Let’s Netflix and chill.” I said, “Only if it includes snacks and nudity.”
7. I don’t date gym rats. I prefer couch potatoes—low resistance, high carbs.
8. They say size doesn’t matter. Until the camera zooms in.
9. My libido’s like a phone battery—dies fast, recharges in silence.
10. He said he was a grower, not a shower. I said, “Show receipts.”
11. My sheets aren’t dirty. They’re seasoned.
12. If flirting burned calories, I’d be invisible by now.
13. She asked if I had protection. I pulled out my horoscope.
14. I’m only romantic after two drinks and a plate of nachos.
15. I'm not a snack—I'm the whole damn buffet… with dessert.
16. I bring the heat… and the awkward text the next morning.
17. Dirty talk? I once recited my tax returns in bed.
18. I’m not raunchy—I’m just aggressively affectionate.
19. I date like I cook—too much spice, undercooked intentions.
20. I once had a one-night stand with guilt. We still hook up sometimes.

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7. Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults

Keywords: funny dirty jokes, dirty adult jokes, joke for adults only, good dirty jokes

1. What’s the difference between your job and your partner? One pays you.
2. My credit score is more loyal than my ex.
3. I like big brains—and I cannot lie.
4. I’m not single. I’m just in a long-term relationship with disappointment.
5. Wine improves with age. I improve with lowered expectations.
6. Your outfit is amazing—especially on my floor.
7. I asked for a strong man. God sent me a man with opinions.
8. I'm emotionally available... for snacks.
9. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber.
10. Can I follow you home? Because my GPS is broken, and I’m lost in your eyes.
11. I love a man in uniform—especially if it comes off easily.
12. You bring the vibes; I’ll bring the batteries.
13. I like my humor like my coffee—dark, bitter, and dangerously addictive.
14. Want to come over and disappoint me in person?
15. I’m not desperate—I’m just romantically curious.
16. Let’s play hide and seek. I’ll hide, you seek therapy.
17. I don't do dating apps. I just browse “Missed Connections.”
18. Your ex is irrelevant. I’m the upgrade you didn’t know you needed.
19. That awkward moment when your standards text back.
20. My idea of a threesome? Me, you, and better choices.

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8. NSFW and Smutty Humor

Keywords: nsfw jokes, smutty jokes, dirty jokes dirty, sexy sexy jokes, adult jokes

1. You’re so hot, even my imaginary friend is blushing.
2. You had me at “free Wi-Fi.”
3. I’m not blushing—you’re just seeing my inner dirty thoughts.
4. Are we in a movie? Because this chemistry deserves a slow-motion scene.
5. I’m only into roleplay if snacks are involved.
6. Let’s turn this PG-rated convo into a director’s cut.
7. I like foreplay. Especially when it involves pizza first.
8. You’re like a remote control—always getting pushed at the wrong time.
9. I’m not a player—I just hit restart on failed romances.
10. I'm NSFW on Sundays and public holidays.
11. You bring the pillow talk—I’ll bring the bad decisions.
12. Let's create our own safe word. Mine is “finally.”
13. Are you a storm? Because I want to get stuck inside you.
14. My favorite position? Employed… and naked.
15. You can call me later—or just moan my name now.
16. You’re like the internet—unstable, confusing, but I can’t quit you.
17. My safe word is "oops."
18. I’m into comfort zones… with no clothes.
19. I speak two languages: English and innuendo.
20. Are you dessert? Because I always want more of you.

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9. What Do You Call Dirty Jokes?

Keywords: what do you call dirty jokes, what are some dirty jokes, dark jokes for adults

1. What do you call a romantic cactus? A prick with a heart.
2. What do you call a naked ghost? A boo-ty call.
3. What do you call a dirty mind with bad timing? My ex.
4. What do you call a couple who only texts at 2 a.m.? Temporary.
5. What do you call foreplay with no follow-through? A tease.
6. What do you call a man with no ambition in bed? A sleeper cell.
7. What do you call flirty eye contact at work? HR training.
8. What do you call a bed with too much drama? A twin.
9. What do you call a guy who ghosts you? A magician—now you see him… now you don’t.
10. What do you call a relationship built on Wi-Fi? Laggy love.
11. What do you call lingerie with holes? Vintage.
12. What do you call a one-night stand that cooks breakfast? A keeper.
13. What do you call a sexy vampire? A neck romancer.
14. What do you call a partner who loves roleplay? A keeper with costumes.
15. What do you call bad bedroom lighting? Birth control.
16. What do you call a hot mess? Me, on a Friday.
17. What do you call love at first sight? A filter.
18. What do you call dating apps for nerds? Data-ing.
19. What do you call a naughty joke in a meeting? A career-limiting move.

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Final Thoughts on Dirty Jokes

Dirty jokes walk the line between naughty and hilarious. When timed right and told with confidence, they spark laughter, connection, and even flirting.

From dirty dad jokes to dark jokes for adults, this collection covers all your NSFW humor needs. So go ahead—share one, and see how fast the room lights up.

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